Today marks exactly 20 years since my heart operation!
I was only 4 years old. I was scared, confused, & awake during the entire operation. It really affected me & I still think about it often. I still think about the bright light above me & the strangers staring down as I lie on the operating table. I still remember my mom telling me why I need to go for the operation – so that I can run and play with the other kids without feeling out of breath and tired. But I think at such a young age, it was hard to understand really what was going to happen and how scared I was going to be. As a coping mechanism, I pictured that my regular doctor was standing next to me during the operation, and I was so confused when she later told me she wasn’t there!
For much of my childhood and even into adulthood, this whole experience caused me to live in fear, but eventually, through endless prayer, I overcame it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still fight the fear today. Sometimes it tries to creep back into my life, but now I fight it knowing I am stronger & I am an overcomer. I am blessed – the hole in my heart is filled, not only with a coil spring, but with gratefulness too. Because for the past 20 years I have been able to run, jump & fly through the sky with a healthy heart beating in my chest. And yes, I can now run with the other kids and I don’t even feel out of breath.
Please feel free to leave a comment or contact me should you need any advice on going for an op, sending your child into the operating theater or maybe you have been though a similar experience and want to share?